Friday
Dear Ms. Langley,
A few things concern me a lot about your attitude as of late. I think we need to address those points immediately before you turn yourself into a crazy cat person. Perhaps it is not too late.
Let me start by saying that my appreciation for you has not whithered or diminished in the past month. You've shown, all too grudgingly, that you are independent and strong and I have to say I'm proud of you for your accomplishments. They might not be much in your mind, Ms. Langley, but surely you must realize that when people seem impressed they are not doing it just to "play games with you."
Now, to address the matter at hand. I hear, Ms. Langley, that you're quite taken with a man. Circumstances do not seem to be ideal. From what you have told me, he is quite wonderful, he embodies your definition of hot, he's smart, sweet, amazing and he makes you laugh when no one else could. He is also half-way across the world and he has never actually touched you. Ms. Langley, I know you've considered that you might not be in love with him but might be in love with the idea of him. You've also proven yourself wrong time and time again when you've, quite valiantly, told yourself (and him) that if the current state of affairs was too much for him to handle then you should not talk any longer and meant every word of it. I know you've never quite felt this way about anyone else and that you'd risk anything for him, and I also know that you don't expect him to do the same thing. I know you're scared. That does not give you the right, I repeat, it does not give you the right to completely freak out and go into a massive emotional breakdown when he tells you he's not ready to live with you. So he's not ready to live with you. Or maybe he is, like he's been telling you every day since the moment it happened. Regardless of his feelings, you have absolutely no right to be upset over the way he feels because you've said to yourself, countless, innumerable times, that you would not relay on the way he feels to make your decisions. Whether he comes through or not is another matter entirely, but let me assure you that he would not be going to America for a week just to see you if he did not think you're at least worthy of his time. Stop worrying so much about his ex-girlfriends. You have a past, he has a past. He has a harder time getting over his than you do. Get used to it, Ms. Langley, most people do not laugh off the things you laugh off, most people aren't able to look back at terrible things and think "oh, well", the way you've trained yourself to. You've got to understand that she hurt him and he's still healing and that people are indeed human and not androids, and they do not handle pain the way you do. Jokes aren't acceptable. You need to get used to that.
In the meantime, Ms. Langley, I will please ask you to refrain from freaking out and pushing the man you love away by being silly and insecure. I will ask you to think before you speak and go get a glass of water or buy your lower lip until it bleeds when you have something to say but you know, for a fact, that it is wrong and it will only end in a fight. Also, try to be more supportive. He's trying his best and you're just pushing him away. Also, write some more. You're stressed out because you can't write, but when do you actually sit down to write? Stupid letters to yourself don't count. Also, Ms. Langley, don't let your ego get too big. If you keep believing him when he tells you you're beautiful you might not want to stand in line with all the ugly town people.
Thank you for your attention,
yourself.
Ps. Writing letters to yourself is lame.
; written on the stars at 12:07 PM
